On muslim men and polygamy

On Muslim men and polygamy

By Abdulazeez Abdullahi

The center spread interview of this newspaper last Thursday which featured the wife of the Iranian ambassador to Nigeria, Fakrol Sdat Rezazadeh, made interesting reading particularly her views on polygamy. The envoy/s wife disclosed that polygamy was not fashionable in Iran essentially because any Iranian man who ventures into it will have difficulty catering to the needs of such a polygamous family. She said Polygamy in Islam is predicated on the ability of the man to ensure justice between his wives and that many men ignore this aspect when they decide to go into it.

While this may not be the popular view among many Muslim men – and even women - especially here in Nigeria, I am however of the opinion that there is some truth in her assertion. Many polygamous men particularly in this country tend to enter into it for the reasons which were not those prescribed in the Holy Qur’an. Majority of men marry more wives because their financial status has improved {for some it has even become a status symbol of sorts} or to satisfy their lust or in some cases because the wife cannot bear a child or she has intolerable flaws. While these may seem reason enough, they are however not among the conditions stipulated in the Qur’an for Muslim men to practice polygamy.

A man is permitted to marry more than one wife and up to four in circumstances where there are many widows in society who need a man to cater for them and their orphaned children. It was also made clear that if one fears that he cannot treat the women justly and equitably then he should stick to one as stated in Q3: V3:”If ye fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four, nut if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one or the one which your right hand possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice”.

The reason for this was that back during the Holy Prophet Mohammad’s {SAW} lifetime and even afterwards, many wars were fought in which a lot of men were killed thus leaving their families without a father figure to look after them and the properties they left behind, While it could be argued that there are many widows and orphans in the country today which could justify why some men marry more than one wife, it is doubtful if many of these widows get picked by prospective polygamists. In most cases, men opt for younger women who are neither widows nor in need of any sort of care that only those men can provide.

Like I mentioned earlier, some men take additional wife or wives because they have come to find their lives with the first wife incompatible but this too is not a condition that warrants polygamy in Islam. The Quran states that if one finds a fault with his wife he should be tolerant of her because it may be that Allah has placed some good in that which he finds intolerable. But if a man reaches that point that he cannot bear such a fault, he is advised to divorce that wife and marry another but not keep her and take an additional one. Q3: V20 states:“Then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it. And if you wish to have one wife in the place of another and you have given them a heap of gold, take nothing from it “.

 Many proponents of polygamy are quick to point to the fact that the Holy Prophet led a polygamous life as such has provided a reference point for his followers as Muslims are strongly enjoined to follow his example. It is worthy to remember however that while some of the Prophet’s marriages were for political reasons, others were for compassionate reasons. None was entered into satisfy human desire or because he has come into some fortune. He remained married to only Khadijah - whom he married aged 25 until she died when he was 50.

After her death Prophet Mohammad married another older woman, Sawdah before marrying the much younger Aisha. Some accounts say the prophet moved to divorce Sawdah but she agreed to surrender her conjugal visits to Aisha to prevent that. His marriage to Zainab and Hafsah, daughters of Sayyidina Umar and Abubakar respectively were essentially to foster stronger political ties after their husbands were killed in the battle of Badr.

After her husband died in the battle of Uhud {about the same time Zainab also died}, the Prophet married Ummu Salmah and took her into his care along with her children. He also married Zainab who had earlier married his adopted son, Zayd. This marriage was decreed by Allah to assert the point that an adopted son does not have the same privileges as a biological son.

Ensuring justice among the wives is a critical condition for polygamy in Islam but most men are found wanting in this regard. Much as many polygamous men strive to create a semblance of justice and fairness amongst their wives, the fact remains that many fail to achieve it. Take for instance a man who lives with one wife in one city and has another wife living in another city. The fact the he spends more days with one wife is doing injustice to the other regardless of the agreement he and the wives may have entered into.

I am not making a case against polygamy but rather arguing that any Muslim man who wishes to practice it should endeavour to abide by the strict conditions spelt out in the Holy Qur”an for it to be practiced.